A sermon by the Rev Batty Von Goebbels For 2000 years, Jesus could not come again. Now we have Viagra, he can come again and again and again. Viagra is renowned for making you rise three days later so he’ll need some when he cums back. Some Christians find the crucified tortured image of Christ […]
About Reverend Batty Von Goebbels
This author has yet to write their bio.Meanwhile lets just say that we are proud Reverend Batty Von Goebbels contributed a whooping 13 entries.
Entries by Reverend Batty Von Goebbels
A sermon by the Rev Batty Von Goebbels There has been much controversy about ‘Gay Cure Therapy” as promoted by upstanding Christian patriot, Ann Widdecombe, MEP for the South West of England. As we know, God makes us in his own image and we are all perfect, apart from that he made us all sinners […]
A sermon by the Reverend Batty von Geobells There has been much speculation in the media recently about the former British Foreign Secretary’s comments relating to Islamic clothing. Boris Johnson recently sparked outrage for suggesting Muslim women who wear headscarves resembled “bank robbers” and “letter boxes”. So I thought I would write a sermon from […]
In today’s sermon I want to talk about God’s holy seed, but this time not the one he secretly sneaked up Mary’s muff, no I’m talking about Mary Jane, da holy herb, cannabis, weed, pot, ganja. Cannabis, as it clearly states in the Bible was given by God for our use. Although, I must note […]
In today’s sermon we figure out some of Jesus’s most famous miracles starting with the feeding of the 5000. Jesus told everyone, “They do not need to go away. You give them all something to eat.” “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered. They all ate and were satisfied, […]
A sermon by the Reverend B. Von Goebbels Science is always coming up with all kinds of fancy equations to show that they are cleverer than God and make us Christians look like childish and deluded, dimwitted morons, which we are not. There are many mysteries that science cannot explain. God in his eternal wisdom […]
A sermon by the Reverend B. von Geobells I have just had the most amazing revelation from God. He has revealed his inner thoughts to me through the teaching of the bible. It has come to my attention that the original sin with which we all suffer and Jesus was sent to save us from […]
A sermon by the Reverend Batty von Goebbels Today we are going to look at the Ten Commandments. These are a set of very special instructions from God sent to Moses approximately 3,600 years ago via the Angel of Jehovah. (Ex 20:1; 31:18; De 5:22; 9:10; Ac 7:38, 53; see also Ga 3:19; Heb 2:2.) We […]
A sermon by the Reverend Batty von Goebbels We will discuss the Holy Ghost. This is the most mystery and suspense filled bit of Christianity. No satisfactory explanation can be given as to what the Holy Ghost really is, but from my other research into ghosts, it is a scary disembodied spirit like a man […]
A sermon from the Reverend Batty Von Goebbels of the United Free Church of Kiddyfiddlerminster.
A prayer by the Reverend Batty von Geobbels Judas stole my lunch box Jesus stole my sandal designs John the Baptist drowned my daughter The Messiah wilted my fruit tree Jesus made the person I had struck blind see again Dog live, evil God Christ has cum Up my bum Jesus had balsa wood sandals Jesus […]
A sermon by the Reverend Batty von Goebbels So to believe in our Lord you must first hear the voices in your head. At least three, the son, the father and the holy ghost, but probably also the voice of Satan trying to get you to do bad stuff. There are also hosts of angels […]
ABOUT The Rev Bathan von Goebbels
The Rev Bathan von Goebbels founded the United Free Church of Kidderminster in 2004. His friends call him Batty, a nickname he does not mind, because of his upfront and controversial sermons and his strong belief that God is our only judge.
The Church’s aim is to teach the true word of God and reveal the mysteries of the bible and other holy text.
Please visit our site regularly to read the Reverend von Goebbels’ unique sermons and take on Christianity.
If you would like to join our church, please send us some money, as we always need more to preach the good word of God and the Lord Jesus our Saviour.